[compliments of Twitter and Donald J Twumper]

1. TO my friends, welcome—to everyone else hello. We are all still amazed I am here today—to begin Making America Great Again
2. I promise that whatever you wished for when you voted for me for President you will get soon, regardless of how great America was before.
3. I promise you that you will also see my tax returns as soon as I can settle my disputes with the IRS—no kidding—and no redactions
4. I have big plans for the future—Peace Forever—Prosperity Everywhere—Jobs for Everyone—Trump Brand and royalties from all over the world
5. Our friends, beginning with Russia, will get all they want and need because they know I will do the same for them—believe me
6. The bad guys will all be careful with us because I will keep them guessing all the time—believe me this is the way to tame our world
7. We will keep all strangers out of harm’s way because that is the way to stop everyone from doing bad things—out of harm’s way means OUT
8. Health insurance for everyone is a cinch, believe me—my word is law. Too many greedy hands in the pot—will cut off fingers here and there
9. Trade is a fool’s paradise—compared to real estate it takes no brains—as long as we are and remain #1, there can be no bad trade deals
10. Conflicts are fake news baloney—you, the public, do not care—and why would I want to make even more money at the country’s expense?
11. Honesty is always the best policy—I did tell the head of Boeing that it is important to see my name on Air Force One—he said SURE
12. Mexico is our southern neighbor—I love Hispanics because they arouse so much interest—see who pays for the wall
13. I bought the best cabinet that money could buy—they are free to do what they want as long as it is what I want—GREATEST Team EVER!
14. Congress is important and they are in my pocket—when I tell them to produce, believe me they will—or else. Idiots all of them
15. My success  in politics will be like my business—about half pure luck—so I will give this job about half of my time—less at risk
16. The next four years will be the best years of our lives—especially if you will relax and trust me, like all the women in my life!

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This Inauguration speech is the shortest in history—shorter than the Gettysburg Address – Lincoln would love me.

Sixteen sweet TWEETS strung together to give the country everything I know and that it needs to know!