No advice; just tips for navigating the golden years.
1-DO NOT FALL! Great advice but how? Hold on to everything you can grab, but never “grab ‘em by …”, well, you know.
2-DO NOT FORGET YOUR IPHONE: You never know when God may try to reach you. Best to talk to her when she calls!
3-DO NOT FORGET YOUR NAME: The person at the front desk probably will not know it either.
4-DO NOT WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOUR HEARING: Most of what you were hearing was not worth it—learn to nod knowingly and dream on.
5-DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA INTRUDE ON YOUR PRIVACY: Just kidding! You already haven’t had any since 2005.
6-DO FORGET WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO REMEMBER: It is the quickest way to remember.
7-DO NOT TRY TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO DO NEXT: Simply do something else and you will remember it at an inconvenient moment.
8-IF SOMETHING LOOKS UNFAMILIAR: It probably really is.
9-IF EVER YOU FEEL WOBBLY: Sit down and drink a glass of whiskey.
10-IF EVER YOU DREAM OF DEATH: Wake up right away.